Shattered Dreams
by Erin1983
Summary: ONE-SHOT Fic. They dreamed of a lifetime together but one night that dream was shattered forever. 20 years later one of them have to go through the same pain again.


**Shattered Dreams**

**By: GeorgeStultsFan**

**Summary: ONE-SHOT Fic. They dreamed of a lifetime together but one night that dream was shattered forever. 20 years later one of them have to go through the same pain again.**

**A/N: I was at the gym when I got this idea. So don't blame me blame the gym if you don't like it.**

**A/N1: I don't own 7th Heaven but I own characters you don't recognize and this plot. The song is by Beth Nielsen Chapman_ - "Sand and Water"_**

**A/N: The first part is set around April 2005 and the second half is set around June of 2025**

**A/N2: Review nicely and please make sure you critique my work.**

**A/N3: I've decided that I really do need a BETA for my other stories. I know I have asked this before but I deleted the replies I got. Send me an email to erin with the at sign georgestultsworld dot com**

* * *

_All alone I didn't like the feeling  
All alone I sat and cried  
All alone I had to find some meaning  
In the center of the pain I felt inside_

She had fallen asleep again. This was the third time that week it had happened. Lucy rubbed her eyes and sat up from the couch and squinted at the grandfather clock to see the time.

It read 2am and Kevin still wasn't home yet. Normally she would have been worried to death but tonight was different for some reason. Maybe it was because he left later tonight to work the third shift or maybe because the week was finally ending. Whatever the reason she didn't care.

She pushed her self off the couch and walked around making sure that the living room windows were secured along with the front door and the back door being locked securely before she headed upstairs.

Just as her socked foot hit the third stair on the steps she heard a cry. Savannah was up and she was letting the world know that she was hungry as well. Lucy continued to walk up the stairs and into her daughter's room and took a deep breath. She loved being in that room. It was one of the best places to be at especially when Savannah was in their sleeping peacefully.

That was one of Lucy and Kevin's favorite things to do at night. Crept into Savannah's room and cuddle on the rocking chair and listen to her breath. Corny but it made everything feel real to them.

"Hey sweetie" Lucy cooed to her daughter as she picked her up from the crib.

"Momma's here" she told the calmed down infant rocking her back and forth in her arms and she walked out of the darkened nursery room and headed back down the stairs to get a bottle started.

Hitting the last step from the stairs she flipped the light back on to the kitchen and headed towards the refrigerator to grab a bottle.

She popped the lid off and stuck it into the microwave above the stove and hit 1:30 seconds when the doorbell rang. Lucy glanced at the clock and cringed. Who would be ringing her doorbell at 2:30 in the morning?

_All alone I came into this world  
All alone I will someday die  
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby  
Sand and water, and a million years gone by_

Carrying Savannah with her Lucy stopped by the front door table and grabbed her cell phone and flipped it opened and typed in the numbers for 911 and placed her finger over the send button in case something happened. Approaching slowly and cautiously towards the front door she held onto Savannah too tightly she started to whimper softly.

"Who…who is it?" Lucy asked her voice sounding full of hesitation.

There was a pause and then she heard "Luce, it's your dad. I…we need to talk to you"

Lucy frowned. Why was her father coming over to her house in the middle of the night? Too many thoughts were racing through her head when she opened the door to let her dad come in. Standing on the Kinkirk's front porch was her dad and her mom who looked like she had been crying.

"Is everything all right?" she asked the both of them as they entered her house. Annie looked at Eric and then had to turn away, but before she did Lucy caught a glimpse of a few tears starting to form.

"What's wrong?"

"Luce, I think you need to sit down."

"No, I'm fine just tell me what's wrong" Lucy replied clutching her daughter closer to her body.

"Is it about Matt? Simon? Ruthie? Are the boys all right?"

"Everyone's fine Luce, but really you should sit down"

Lucy took a deep breath. "Just tell me what's wrong. It's about Kevin isn't it? That's why you guys are here. Something happened to him. Where is he?"

Annie started to sob quietly. "Luce, there's been an accident"

Lucy could feel tears starting to form in her eyes. "No, tell me it wasn't him mom. Tell me it wasn't him" she whispered.

Annie shook her head as tears spilled out. "I'm so sorry Luce, they tried everything. He was killed on impact" she sobbed.

Lucy shook her head. This wasn't happening. They were suppose to spend a lifetime together. They were suppose to grow old together and play with their own grandchildren together this wasn't suppose to happen.

_I will see you in the light of a thousand suns  
I will hear you in the sound of the waves  
I will know you when I come, as we all will come_

_Through the doors beyond the grave_

"Where…where is he?" Lucy asked quietly after a few moments of silence.

"He's down at the morgue. They are waiting for you to identify his body."

"They know what he looks like why can't they do it themselves?" Lucy asked bitterly. She didn't want to see Kevin one last time. She wanted him to walk through the front door and tell her it was all joke. But she knew that her parents wouldn't lie to her on something this serious.

"We'll go with you Luce. Your mom can go with you or I can."

Lucy shook her head trying harder to keep the tears from falling harder. "No, I can go by myself."

"I'll watch Savannah" Annie volunteered.

"No, I'm taking her with me. She won't ever remember him. I have to let her see him one last time"

* * *

25 minutes later Lucy, Savannah, Eric and Annie walked into the doors of Glenoak Community Morgue. 

"We're here to identify Kevin Kinkirk's body" Eric told the women behind the desk. She nodded politely and typed something quickly on her computer before she spoke.

"He is in room 212. Go straight and turn left and then right. It should be on your right hand side"

Eric nodded and gave her a polite thank you and guided his daughter, his granddaughter and his own wife down the hallway.

Step-by-step the closer they got the faster Lucy's heart started to pound. She couldn't do this. It was starting to get harder to breathe.

"Dad I" she started to say when she saw Captain Michaels up ahead. Breathing a partial sigh of relief she sank down on one of the chairs that was across the room.

"Eric, I'm glad you made it. Even though I identified him they wanted to make sure" Captain Michaels told Eric quietly looking over his shoulder to see how Lucy was doing.

"How's she doing?" he asked his voice barely above a whisper.

"Only god could tell you that right now" Eric replied his voice full of anything but happiness yet there was a hint of pain. Of all his son-in-laws, Kevin was one that he appreciated. He always took Lucy's whiny attitude before they got married in strides. He allowed her to be independent while she was pregnant and was especially thrilled that she had graduated early with her Ministry degree. And now he was gone.

"Lucy? If you want you can come in" Captain Michaels told her softly with a warm tone to his voice.

Lucy nodded and looked at Savannah who was buddle up in her car seat asleep.

"We'll watch her"

Lucy shook her head. "No, I already told you she's going in there with me."

Annie sighed. "Suit yourself" and sunk back into the overly soft chair and watched as Lucy carefully unbuckled Savannah from her car seat and lifted her gingerly out oh the buckles and carried her over towards the two steel doors that separated her and Kevin.

Captain Michaels pushed the door open for her as she walked into the room and gasped. Kevin was lying on a long strip of steel with a towel covering his lower portion of his body.

Lucy's eyes filled with tears. "Oh Kevin" she whispered walking closer to his body and took his hand. It was still warm surprisingly enough. He must have just gotten there before her parents told her the news.

"Oh Kevin" she spoke again this time letting the tears fall freely. "Why did you have to leave us? What am I going to do with Savannah and the house? I can't raise her without you. She needs her daddy. I…I need my husband and my best friend back"

Lucy started to sob. Then Savannah joined in with her, not because she knew what was going on but because Lucy was shaking her shoulders violently. "I can't raise her on my own" she said suddenly with anger in her voice. "Can you hear me? I can't raise her myself! Why did you have to go to work last night you jerk? Why didn't you just call off and just stayed where you were? None of this would have happened. It's your entire fault" she screamed at the lifeless body.

With no more feeling of hate, or sorrow left in her Lucy calmed Savannah down and wiped her own tears. Now she was a single parent and she had to be strong for her daughter. She kissed Kevin on top of the forehead and held his hand one last time before she got up from the stool that was next to him and walked through the steel doors again realizing that life as she knew it will never be the same again.

_All alone I heal this heart of sorrow  
All alone I raise this child  
Flesh and bone, he's just  
Bursting towards tomorrow  
And his laughter fills my world and wears your smile_

_

* * *

_

The days, months and years passed after Kevin died. Lucy had to sit through Ruthie's high school and college graduation, her wedding and the birth of her first child. She also had to do the same with Sam and David.

Her only escape back to her past was the birthday parties, the ballet lessons, that quickly turned into driving lessons and cheerleading practice with her own daughter. She painfully had to sit through her daughter's high school graduation knowing that she was going to be alone again. But luckily, Savannah decided to go to the same school as Lucy had and wanted to become a police officer just like her dad was.

Later, after Kevin had been killed Lucy found out that he was on his way home when a drunk driver came out of no where and slammed into him. Kevin was killed instantly and the drunk driver only sustained some small injuries. For awhile after she was told that she cried and cried night after night asking god why couldn't he have taken the fool that drove drunk instead of her husband?

"Mom?" Lucy's thoughts were interrupted.

"What sweetie?"

"Can you help me zip up my dress? I'm almost ready" Savannah smiled at her, lifting her hair up so Lucy could zip up her wedding dress.

"You look beautiful sweetie" Lucy told her daughter holding back the tears.

Savannah smiled in the mirror but it quickly turned into a frown. "Mom! I don't have anything old or borrowed to wear!"

"What?" Lucy groaned and checked her watch. They had exactly 10 minutes before the ceremony was going to start and she was out of ideas. "Savannah, why didn't you think of this before?"

Savannah hung her head in shame. "I didn't think about it until right now. I have something blue and something new but I forgot about the other two!"

Lucy clasped her hands together and sunk down on the couch. She started to play with the rings on her fingers when she got an idea. She unhooked the necklace she was wearing and got up from the couch and walked over to her daughter.

"I found something" she said softly.

"What?" Savannah asked curiously turning around and gasped softly. "I can't take this mom. You haven't taken them off since I can remember"

"But they are something old and something borrowed" Lucy argued. "I think you need them more then I do right now"

"But these are dads –" Savannah tried to argue.

"I know but right now I think it's better for him to be with you then for them to be with me" Lucy replied as she put them around Savannah's neck and clipped it together.

_  
I will see you in the light of a thousand suns  
I will hear you in the sound of the waves  
I will know you when I come, as we all will come  
Through the doors beyond the grave_

"Thanks" Savannah replied. Lucy opened her mouth to answer when there was a soft knock at the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's Grandpa" came the answer from the other side of the door.

Lucy walked over and opened the door. 'Hi dad we are almost ready"

Eric smiled. This was going to be his last ceremony that he was going to perform before he retired officially. He had lost most of his hair but his blue eyes still sparkled like he was 20 years younger.

"Good" he replied simply. "But that's not what I came in here for. There is someone who wants to see you before hand"

Lucy and Savannah both groaned. James had been trying to peek at Savannah for the last half an hour and they had finally threatened him to the point that Savannah would disappear and not make an appearance at her own wedding. "It better not be James or I'll kill him" Lucy told her dad.

"How about Uncle Ben?" a deeper male voice responded. Ben stood in the doorway waiting for Eric to move to the side to see both Savannah and Lucy.

"UNCLE BEN" Savannah practically screamed out loud. She hadn't seen him since she her sweet sixteen birthday party. She rushed into his arms and gave him the tightest hug a man could practically ask for.

"Hey pumpkin" he murmured into her ear and kissed her on the cheek softly.

"I didn't think you were going to make it" She whispered in his ear.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." He replied letting go of her. "Grandma sends her love but she couldn't make it. Her leg was bothering her again so Aunt Patty-Mary decided to stay home as well but they both send you guys their love"

Lucy stood at the side of the vanity frozen. She hadn't seen Ben in years and was shocked to see him now. She watched as he walked closer to her before she could say hello he hugged her and whispered in her ear. "He would have wanted me to be here Luce and I knew I couldn't miss it for the world"

Lucy nodded tried to keep her tears from spilling over. "Ben I ". She couldn't express her feelings right now. She had to breathe. Ben let her out of his embrace and she walked to the door when someone else knocked. She opened it up and Matt was standing in the door frame.

"Dad wanted me to tell you guys that everything is ready"

Lucy nodded and turned to look at Savannah who just noticed Matt was in the room.

"Uncle Matt?"

"Yeah?" Matt replied staring at Ben. He was one of the few Camden's who had only known Ben was coming. "You made it I take it?"

Ben nodded and Savannah coughed to signal that she had something to say. "I love you Uncle Matt I really do but would you be mad if I asked you to walk down with mom instead of me?"

Matt looked surprised but hid that behind his smile. "No, I wouldn't be mad"

"Good" Savannah sighed with relief she turned and looked at Ben. "I want Uncle Ben to walk me down the aisle. He's the closet thing that I have to my dad right now and I want to be as close to my dad as possible._  
_

Ben looked shocked but nodded his head. Matt turned towards Lucy and offered her his arm. "Ready?"

"Ready" she replied taking his arm and looping hers through it and walked together down the same path that she had taken with Kevin only 22 years prior to that. They arrived at the bottom of the alter and Matt lead her to her seat and she sat down.

The music started to play signifying that the bride was coming. But all Lucy could see through her tears was she herself 22 years younger. As Savannah slowly walked down the isle with Ben at her side, Lucy looked up towards the ceiling.

"I love you Kevin. You'd be proud of her" she whispered softly so no one else could hear her.

_All alone I came into this world  
All alone I will someday die  
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby  
Sand and water and a million years gone by_

_

* * *

_

**A/N4: So what did you guys think? Don't forget to let me know!**


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